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| Noblewoman Laura de Noves, thought by some to be the real-life counterpart of Petrarch's muse. Image from Wikipedia. |
If my memory from past study serves me correctly, he also is credited with initiating the juxtaposition of fire and ice to describe the layers of love, particularly that which is not returned, wherein fire symbolizes the intensity of the speaker's love and ice indicates his isolation in realizing it is ultimately ill-placed. We see Petrarch's stylistic preference for fire in Sonnet 90, within the lines, "My soul dry kindling, waiting for her flame, / and could I help it I was set ablaze?" (1549). These lines designate Laura as the source of a great heat that develops within Petrarch, a metaphoric way of relating the powerful passion he feels for her.
Petrarch's legacy carries through in the continued popularity of the unrequited love theme. We even see this in Don Quixote. The irrationality of one caught in such a state is captured wonderfully in Chapter 31. Sancho tells Don Quixote of his "encounter" with Dulcinea del Toboso. With each description of her that contradicts Don Quixote's idealized view of her, he finds a new way to rationalize it so that it again fits in with the woman he wants her to be. For example, when Sancho hilariously recounts that, from Dulcinea del Toboso, he "did perceive a little odor," Don Quixote insists that Sancho mistook his own scent for hers (1718). The ferocity of unrequited love and its compartmentalization into extremes makes it so that the lover often forms the object of his affection into a glorified, largely inaccurate figure (the "up on a pedestal" framework).
Because I think this is such an intriguing concept, I'd love to hear of any other examples of unrequited love you may have encountered, whether in literature, film, pop culture, etc. How do you think the concept has developed over time since the precedent Petrarch established??
I think the concept of unrequited love might go beyond just our conscious thoughts. In fact, I feel it might be a biological factor that plays into our general development as humans. Let me explain.
ReplyDeleteAll humans feel unrequited love towards something or someone. For young children, it is usually a item at the store. For teens/adults, it is a person or abstract concept such as peace of mind. Whatever the case may be, people of all ages feel it. Now I feel this may be a biological process rather than just an errant state of mind because each obsession serves as a pivotal point in development. Take for example the child who wants that piece of candy from the store, but cannot have it. Typically, the child wants the candy because it cannot have it or hasn't had a lot of candy in its life time. However, once that love for the unattainable is fulfilled, the item ceases to be on the pedestal and it's attention is diverted else where. It is this shifting of obsession from thing to thing that then leads this child to realize that things usually aren't as good as they seem. However, without the element of obsession, the child wouldn't have learned that. Likewise, with adults/teenagers, the concept remains the same, but the object changes. It usually takes the form of a significant other for people of this age. The obsession grows strong and unruly until it is satisfied at which point the teenager usually feels a sense of disappointment with his obsession. That isn't to say that it isn't awesome, but it isn't everything they thought it would be. Once again, it is the element of obsession that drives this realization of a universal truth. Because of this, I suspect that obsession is the brains way of triggering the next stage of cognitive development. Everyone is at a different level in their development and it may take longer for others to reach certain levels. However, we are all on that journey. I know this might seem far fetched, but it is definitely in the realm of possibility.
That's a really interesting point! However, my question is: what about people like Petrarch and Dante, whose passions for Laura and Beatrice, respectively, persevered throughout their lifetimes? Yes, they experienced the disappointment that you mentioned, but in controlled increments spaced between renewed passion. They felt disappointment, but not to the point of disillusionment. So, did they ever ascend in cognitive development according to the progression you described? The obsessive aspect surely consumes people, and some are able to grow past it, but for some it is a never-ending cycle.
DeleteI would argue that the only reason both of Petrarch and Dante felt that feeling their whole lives is because they never got to experience it, and therefore unable to experience the disappointment. So in a sense, they never "graduated" from that level of emotional development. All of what I said is strictly speculative and I don't base it on an empirical evidence. It simply the inner thoughts and machinations of my mind 😂
DeleteOof. Ignore that "of" in the first sentence
DeleteDamn. Typos everywhere. Remind me to never respond to a blog on my phone again.
DeleteExperiencing the disappointment directly should definitely have more effect. And haha happens to the best of us!
DeleteIt is so admirable to see the way these writers described love. You used the examples of fire and ice being used in these past readings. I agree that the passion within the ideas of fire and ice is strong and bold. They are both on extremes and on completely opposite sides of the spectrum. Seeing something be compared to fire and ice usually tells the reader how intense that thing is. You pointed out the example from Petrarch's piece. He compares his want for her to reciprocate his feelings to a flame. How could you not fall in love with a line like that? It puts such a good image into my mind as I read. It truly brings the story to life for me.
ReplyDeleteThe sharp contrast between the two elements really helps to build the tear between love and longing in these individuals. I feel like the imagery has maybe lost a bit of its impact over the years since it has become a cliche. It would have been so special to read a line like that when it was original and new.
DeleteA valuable skill for those who read older literature: to be able to see the cliche as fresh again...
DeleteOh my, boy do I have MANY examples of unrequited love I have come across in literature. I remember watching the 2012 Les Miserables (yes I'm a sucker for historical musicals), and the characters of Marius and Eponine were one of the first examples of unrequited love I have come across. Eponine is in love with Marius, but, unfortunately, Eponine finds out that Marius loves Cosette, Jean Valjean's adoptive daughter/Fantine's daughter. The sad part is that when she (disguised as a man) tricks Marius into going into the barricades so they can die together, she dies in his arms, confesses confessing that she loves him while giving the letter Cosette sent him, so Marius can find the whereabouts of his true love. This part of the story really tears me up inside because unrequited love is one of the worst heartbreaks someone can ever experience. Just the thought of loving someone and they don't love you back hurts.
ReplyDeleteAnother one of my favorite fairy tales, Hans Christian Andersen's The Little Mermaid is a prime example of unrequited love. Instead of the prince falling in love with the Little Mermaid that saved him from shipwreck, he falls in love with someone else. The Little Mermaid does not have a happy ending, where she turns to sea foam when she could not bring herself to kill the prince, even though it was the only way to save herself.
One of my favorite unrequited love couples from literature is definitely Jay Gatsby and Daisy Buchanan from The Great Gatsby. Gatsby and Daisy dated before the events of the book taking place, however, Daisy marries Tom Buchanan while Gatsby was away at war. Unlike Gatsby, Tom inherited his money, or "old money." Gatsby was poor before he became rich off of bootlegging. A common theme I see in unrequited love is the person in love with the person that doesn't love them back eventually meets their doom (AKA death). Gatsby is murdered by George Wilson, Eponine is killed in battle, and the Little Mermaid turns into seafoam when she couldn't kill the prince.
Do you think Petrarch was one of the pioneers of the "unrequited love" themes for literature?
I didn't even think of Gatsby but that's definitely a big one. That one may even be a bit unique, since Daisy knows he has feelings for her and plays into that, manipulating him before eventually dropping him deliberately. Typically, the object of the lover's affection isn't aware of the person's feelings and doesn't find out until tragedy strikes.
DeleteThe doom that the lover meets is additionally interesting because it seems to always take the form of some act of sacrifice for his or her beloved --- Eponine's final act is to lead Marius to his own love, The Little Mermaid saves the Prince at her own expense, Gatsby takes the fall for Daisy, etc. Of course Petrarch and Dante are a little different because these instances are historically true, happening spontaneously rather than at the stroke of a pen.
I think it could be argued that, even if he didn't invent it, Petrarch drew great popularity to the theme of unrequited love.
Petrarch and Dante took the theme to new levels, but you can trace unrequited love as a motif well back into world mythology...
DeleteA typical unrequited love story is something that most people (me included) can't resist. I think there are definitely more examples out there of unrequited love than there are of requited love! Especially because, even in love stories that are mutual in the end, typically they start off unrequited, or start off with the protagonist in the process of 'getting over' someone else who didn't like them back, only to discover their soulmate was their best friend all along, or something. I could probably list a million of examples which would take too long, but I will say that in regard to your point about fire and ice being a long standing metaphor, it reminded me of the poem in "IT" of all things as a perfect example haha. "Your hair is winter fire, January embers, my heart burns there too.." This could even lead into a whole new discussion about how even in stories that are not romances, there almost always is a romantic subplot. That's definitely one way the concept has developed. People's need for a good unrequited love story is timeless.
ReplyDeleteIt does seem to be prevalent still in todays society, just in a different Fashion. Now, in my opinion, it is supposed to be a prolonged pining over another while friends, and ignoring the feelings. While we have gotten more direct since Petrach, we certainly havent gotten far.
ReplyDeleteI did not realize that Petrarch was given credit for the fire and ice, describing love. I had not thought about how the concept of idolizing, has changed throughout the years. In today's world, I find that people are easy to idolize and yet easier to critique with the use of technology. Almost taking away something special, that people would have before technology. Being able to picture and describe your beloved, instead of just looking at a screen of them.
ReplyDeleteGreat ideas! I love how you trace it back to Petrarch :)
ReplyDeleteDo you think Cervante's elaborate creation of Dulcinea del Toboso is his way of making fun of unrequited love in knight's tales? I assume that Dulcinea's impact on Don Quixote is another humorous way to exaggerate the obsessive love found in the books he reads. Perhaps he is making fun of not only the obsession, but also the fact that the lady doesn't return his love in real life. And making Dulcinea seem normal and less lady-like than Don Quixote would like to admit makes the situation even funnier. And, Sancho is making all of this up! He plays along with the make-believe love, adding another layer of people making fun of other people. Maybe Cervantes was thinking like you and saw unrequited love as something to note!
Also, going in Pierre's direction with this, I think that unrequited love is normal because - as James noted - it's idolizing. We all crave something/someone to love, and we try to fill that space up with things and people, but it's frustrating because it isn't going to satisfy us (unrequited love is an example of this). I think that only God can perfectly fill this space :)
As to examples, the phantom's unrequited obsession with Christine in The Phantom of the Opera is one that comes to mind. He too has a sad ending, which goes along with the theme of tragedy that Cali discusses.
Whew, another great blog discussion, folks! And Kate, what a thoughtful, well-wrought post!
ReplyDeleteIn general, I believe that unrequited love has gained much more of a negative connotation then in this time. It seems as though in older literature, it was more kind and pure. Nowadays unrequited love is more frowned upon. It is less like admiring someone from afar and more closer to deadly obsession, stalking and fuel for a horror film. There is no real point to this comment, but it did come to my mind as I was pondering the difference between love in older and more present literature.
ReplyDeleteIn a different way it does still seem to be relevant even in todays day in age. You can tell they have a strong love for each other like you were talking about when Petrarch says "My soul dry kindling, waiting for her flame, / and could I help it I was set ablaze?" that shows how they truly feel about eachother.
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